Many traders tell me how much they love trading and yet they are in so much pain about it. They believe if they can get over their painful emotions, they can become disciplined and patient, and consistently profitable.

But it is not the emotions that are destructive to your trading success. It is your Emotional Reactivity that is causing self-sabotaging behavioral patterns. Trading success really is mastery of your mind and your emotions. Note: it is NOT the absence of emotions.

Trading really is just a mirror of life in general. If it shows up in your day-to-day life, there is a high likelihood it will spill over into your trading life.

Mandi

The Reactivity Checklist

Time to get real. Here are some patterns of emotional reactivity worth examining honestly. How many show up in your life?

Being hooked by tradingAddictive behavior is not restricted to a bottle of wine every night. Being so consumed by trading that it occupies every thought can lead to overtrading and trying to force trades that are not there.
Wanting trading to be easy and perfectResenting any challenges that come up. Interestingly, many successful traders lean into and thrive on challenge rather than trying to avoid it.
Feeling triggered when things do not go your wayStarting to feel like rolling on the floor and stamping your feet? Are you at the cause or at the effect of your life?
Feeling perpetually the victimAt the mercy of others and events. An unexpected expense is an inconvenience. It is not life-threatening. Neither is a trading loss.
Blaming othersThose mean Twitter gurus who said go short when the market was clearly a long, and those pesky brokers. Blame is a very expensive habit.
Justifying why things are the way they areTrading is not simple. The world of finance is complex. Justifying resistance to learning is not the same as having a genuine reason for it.
Holding on to what is rather than looking for how to changeRefusing to consider other markets, even if they may be more suitable for your personality and skillset. Intermarket analysis can be complex yet enormously useful.
Being more worried about what people thinkIf I take that loss my partner will think I am wasting our money. Letting social fear override sound trading judgment is one of the most common and costly patterns.
Being dramatic, sulking, emotionally withdrawingEven though it gives a feeling of importance and the illusion of control, you are doomed to missing the trade that could have made all the losses back.
Avoiding dealing with the realities of lifeHedging a losing trade rather than closing it out. Hoping to struggle your way out of it. It rarely works. Trust the experience of everyone who has tried.

What Mastery Actually Means

Stuff is happening all the time. There will always be a challenge, a problem, a setback. You will always stuff up in some area. If you are emotionally reactive to all of this, trading success is, to say the least, elusive. The key is not to expect the problems to go away. It is to be the trader who handles whatever life throws at you, in the face of fear, in the face of disappointment, despite the unfairness of it.

Emotional Reactivity
Sulking, anger, drama, blame
Expecting the world to stop for you
Waiting to never be triggered
Staying emotionally immature
Trading full of unicorns and fairies
Emotional Maturity
Prepared for stuff to happen
Choosing to deal constructively
Not surprised by difficulty
Responding, not reacting
Growing through the challenge

Practising Emotional Maturity

We must practice the art of Emotional Maturity. Stuff will happen. Be prepared for it. We can choose to deal with it constructively. With a reminder to ourselves that stuff was always going to happen, so there is no need to be so surprised or shattered or dramatic.

Practice mindfulness. Being present and aware of your habitual reactions. Ask yourself: how does this reaction serve? Is there a way to react that is a response, not a reflex? That is, it is reflective, thoughtful, in proportion to the event, and shows I can handle this, improve from this, do better next time?

The real challenge

Seek out good quality challenges. Lack of time, money, or happy relationships are not good quality challenges. They are what we call safe problems. Good quality challenges are: how can I get more skilled? How can I improve my thinking? How can I become more strategic?

The Questions to Ask Yourself

Your Daily Reflection Practice
How does this reaction serve me right now?
Is there a way to respond that is reflective, thoughtful, and in proportion to the event?
How can I show up right now so that my future will look the way I designed it?
What does this show me about where I still need to grow?
Am I moving towards or away from the trader I am aspiring to become?

Emotional Reactivity versus Emotional Maturity. Trading success really is an inside job. Let this year be new choices, to welcome this into our lives and our minds and hearts.

Mandi
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